I am so relieved that being back at work has had the good affects that I hoped it would! My motivation is up, the whining at home is down (mine as well as the kids’), and all is right with the world! I know Darren is glad to not get any more phone calls “wondering” when he’ll be home (that’s a underhanded demand for him to get home and we both knew it). It’s nice to use the other side of my brain now and to have Travis around to help!
I guess as the kids needed me to physically do less for them. I became increasingly bored. If I have no baby to spoon/bottle feed, no diapers to change, no routine to enforce, no more milestones to meet, what was there left to do except entertain them. They don’t really need me to do that either. I’m not unhappy that they no longer need me the same way as they did as infants. I’m actually relieved, but that left me with “What now?”
It no longer made sense to squeak by financially each month on one income when I could very well relieve the financial pressure from my husband and make a sizeable contribution by going back to work.
It surely was nice being home for almost 5 years. I really enjoyed it and the times I didn’t enjoy caused some serious personal growth. I’m definitely not the timid, “don’t rock the boat” person I used to be (That may also be the result of Darren’s brainwashing – HA!). I am much more accepting and confident in myself than I used to be.
Now that both my kids are potty trained (HOORAY!), I do miss their baby selves. Not enough to want to miss out on sleep again, but enough that I’d like to hold those little babies again and get another look at those tiny faces and make sure I really absorbed the time I had at home with them.
Having been on both sides of the mom fence (Stay at home vs. Working), I don’t know why both sides are so hard on the other. We all have our reasons for what we do. I don’t think one side is better at parenting than the other necessarily. You have good stay at home moms and you have bad stay at home moms, just as you have good working moms and bad working moms. I think all moms just need to give each other a break as well as themselves. It’s a tough job which ever way you choose to go about it!
I definitely feel like I made the right choice for my children by staying home the first couple years. I’m really proud of how they have turned out as children as a result of my hard work at home with them. I’m also relieved that they don’t seem scarred by my mommy mishaps as a result of little sleep and inexperience as a parent. Shoooo…I think there is a very good reason why their memories aren’t formed until they are in late toddlerhood. It’s a little grace for parents. Make your mistakes BEFORE they can call child protective services on you! Master your parenting techniques by the time they are 3 or 4 so that they’ll think you’ve always been wonderfully patient and calm!
Now that I’ve passed this chapter of my life, I’m looking for my next challenge! I think that will be to FINALLY stay out of debt and FINALLY save 6 months worth of expenses. When we FINALLY achieve all of that, I want to save and pay cash for a new car! My 2002 Civic is looking so sad although it still runs and, best of all, it’s PAID for!
I think my biggest challenge which I’m ashamed to admit (but shame has never stopped me before) is getting my behind back into a pew at church. Why has this ALWAYS been so hard me to keep up with? Even when I had no children, I couldn’t keep up with it. Then it was pure laziness.
Now, I have kids and the struggle is keeping them inline so I can pay attention and so we don’t draw attention from other church goers or the priest. Although I know why the Catholic Church doesn’t have nurseries (because they want the kids to be a part of Mass), I don’t much enjoy putting it into practice (not that this should have anything to do with pleasure). That’s not enough to make me change my church of choice though. I just have to find a way to “convince” (a much nicer word than I am actually thinking) my little angels to sit still and be semi-quiet at church. I bet that’s why nuns are known for using rulers to discipline students.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Transition to Mommy Going to Work
Today, we did a dress rehearsal of Travis taking the kids to school and picking them up. I did a ride along to drop them off and sat in the car while he brought them in. That went great! Glad I didn't have to go in b/c I didn't even really change out of my PJ's...well, I did put a bra on b/c I didn't want to be all national geographic just incase I had to make an appearance!
Then, while I went on lunch date with a friend of mine, Travis did the pick up thing. Olivia was not agreeable with it...at...all. She cried 90% of the time! Travis called me to speak to her and I tried to help, but I don't think it did. She just wanted to see me ASAP!
Once I was home, I put them down for naps and Olivia has YET to go to sleep. Either she's missed the window of napping opportunity OR she is afraid I will leave while she's not looking. Sheesh.
On that note, I'm thinking that Travis needs to pick them up for the rest of the week and all of next week. That way she'll be okay once I'm at work...I hope. I guess I'll be home most of the days, but try to not be for some of them. Maybe I'll just go park my car on the other side of the neighborhood and coach him via text messages.
Then, while I went on lunch date with a friend of mine, Travis did the pick up thing. Olivia was not agreeable with it...at...all. She cried 90% of the time! Travis called me to speak to her and I tried to help, but I don't think it did. She just wanted to see me ASAP!
Once I was home, I put them down for naps and Olivia has YET to go to sleep. Either she's missed the window of napping opportunity OR she is afraid I will leave while she's not looking. Sheesh.
On that note, I'm thinking that Travis needs to pick them up for the rest of the week and all of next week. That way she'll be okay once I'm at work...I hope. I guess I'll be home most of the days, but try to not be for some of them. Maybe I'll just go park my car on the other side of the neighborhood and coach him via text messages.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Travis is such a WHORE!
Not really, but I thought that was a good way to start blogging!
His blog is really cracking me up. I really think he's going to be famous one day. If not for his mad sewing and clothing design skills, then just for his awesome sense of humor.
Don't most comedians come to be b/c of some childhood trama?! See Logan's "abuse" has come in handy! Fo' real, show me a set of bro's who don't wish bodily harm and ill on each other!?! If two straight brothers are mean and cruel to each other, wouldn't you expect even meaner and crueler things from two brothers who are gay?!? They secretly love each other a lot. I know it. They know it. We just can't acknowledge that they know that I know. Love ya, boys!
His blog is really cracking me up. I really think he's going to be famous one day. If not for his mad sewing and clothing design skills, then just for his awesome sense of humor.
Don't most comedians come to be b/c of some childhood trama?! See Logan's "abuse" has come in handy! Fo' real, show me a set of bro's who don't wish bodily harm and ill on each other!?! If two straight brothers are mean and cruel to each other, wouldn't you expect even meaner and crueler things from two brothers who are gay?!? They secretly love each other a lot. I know it. They know it. We just can't acknowledge that they know that I know. Love ya, boys!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
First Official Football Sunday
I love Sundays during football season! Usually (today wasn't normal b/c I felt like C-RAP) I wake up with an extra skip in my step because I know the day will be filled with YUMMY food! Football is just background noise for the day!
Sunday is Darren's day to sleep in while I just move my lazy butt to the couch and keep the kids as quiet as I can while falling in and out of sleep until he FINALLY wakes up. I then go back to bed while he heads to Walmart to buy the ingredients for the YUMMY concoctions he will prepare for the day! It's the second wake up that I start skipping....not the first wake up.
Today we had toasted french bread sandwhiches with melted provolone, swiss, pepporoni, salami, ham and mayo...oh...and olive salad which I DETEST. He forgot that fact, but I enjoyed the sandwhich inspite of that disgusting mess! With a side of chips and a pickle, I was in food heaven!
Dinner wasn't as exciting except for the brined/grilled chicken. BUT DESSERT...oh...DESSERT...how I love thee! Darren made brownies that topped with vanilla mint chocolate chip ice cream.
No wonder I've gained SO much weight since meeting this man! Yea, I know I had two babies too, but the weight gain started WAY before that. That's how he would convince me to see him when I needed to study for classes during my last semester of school. He enticed me with a delicious homemade meal! EVIL...but successful.
Sunday is Darren's day to sleep in while I just move my lazy butt to the couch and keep the kids as quiet as I can while falling in and out of sleep until he FINALLY wakes up. I then go back to bed while he heads to Walmart to buy the ingredients for the YUMMY concoctions he will prepare for the day! It's the second wake up that I start skipping....not the first wake up.
Today we had toasted french bread sandwhiches with melted provolone, swiss, pepporoni, salami, ham and mayo...oh...and olive salad which I DETEST. He forgot that fact, but I enjoyed the sandwhich inspite of that disgusting mess! With a side of chips and a pickle, I was in food heaven!
Dinner wasn't as exciting except for the brined/grilled chicken. BUT DESSERT...oh...DESSERT...how I love thee! Darren made brownies that topped with vanilla mint chocolate chip ice cream.
No wonder I've gained SO much weight since meeting this man! Yea, I know I had two babies too, but the weight gain started WAY before that. That's how he would convince me to see him when I needed to study for classes during my last semester of school. He enticed me with a delicious homemade meal! EVIL...but successful.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Lazy Saturday!
Okay, SO..MAYBE that first post was kind of a downer! I was just setting the stage for what is usually a chaotic mess of WTF's. For example: Poo smeared on Jacob's carpet, Olivia crying for the 100th time b/c she can't find a beloved toy that she just laid on the couch BEHIND HER, my kids breaking and entering into a neighbors house and getting snacks while the said neighbors were at work, and right now, Jacob is running around the backyard with no bottoms on telling me he's going to be Cinderella for Halloween!! Ummm...NO!
But today has been a pretty nice day. It's overcast so we're sitting outside enjoying the non-heat and the lite drizzle. The kids jumped on the trampoline for almost an hour by themselves! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to see them play together. The other day I caught them giving each other "SNACKS" which is a fist bump and the words "SNACKS!" SUPER CUTE! Almost brought tears to my eyes b/c it reminded me of how much I miss the person who started that!! : )
Now, Travis (aka The Manny) and I are playing on the net outside while Darren enjoys a cigar and drinks some unknown adult beverage. Amber (aka The Dog) is picking up sticks and chewing each one into a million pieces. Surely, she'll be puking all over the place later. I'll try arrange to "not notice" when that happens so my hubby can take care of that!
The kids are preparing to watch what Jacob calls "Star Whores" for the third time. Seems to me a movie probably exists called "Star Whores", but I vow to never know for sure!
What a nice day and it's 45 minutes until the kids bedtime! The best time of the day for all moms and dads everywhere and, in our case, Mannies!
But today has been a pretty nice day. It's overcast so we're sitting outside enjoying the non-heat and the lite drizzle. The kids jumped on the trampoline for almost an hour by themselves! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to see them play together. The other day I caught them giving each other "SNACKS" which is a fist bump and the words "SNACKS!" SUPER CUTE! Almost brought tears to my eyes b/c it reminded me of how much I miss the person who started that!! : )
Now, Travis (aka The Manny) and I are playing on the net outside while Darren enjoys a cigar and drinks some unknown adult beverage. Amber (aka The Dog) is picking up sticks and chewing each one into a million pieces. Surely, she'll be puking all over the place later. I'll try arrange to "not notice" when that happens so my hubby can take care of that!
The kids are preparing to watch what Jacob calls "Star Whores" for the third time. Seems to me a movie probably exists called "Star Whores", but I vow to never know for sure!
What a nice day and it's 45 minutes until the kids bedtime! The best time of the day for all moms and dads everywhere and, in our case, Mannies!
First Post
I have no idea where to start with this!!! It's not like I don't have a million thoughts of things I'd like to share with my FB friends every half second! I guess putting my thoughts into paragraphs rather than a few sentences is a little more intimidating! YIKES!
My life up to now has been all kids, all day for almost 5 years! I thought I would last at this jig until Jacob was in Kindergaten, but I've waved the white flag two years early. I guess if I was the typical stay at home mom whose husband came home every day at about 5 pm I would be able to last two more years. BUT my husband is gone all week and comes home for the weekends. SUCKS!
I feel like I complain about this frequently, but seriously, it's a tall order of madness! I wonder if my kids are going to be scarred from the number of times I lose my cool with the constant toddler drama. Or by the fact that I'm always trying to find something other to do to escape the drama (like blogging right now).
It's a lonely job. Even with the awesome friends I have made, it's still SO lonely. Come 5 pm their husbands are usually home and they are wrapped up in their family routines.
My latest and greatest (in theory) solution has been to go back to work 2 years earlier than planned. The second part of this "great" plan was to bribe my 22 year old cousin from PA to move to what his friends call the "Dirty South". I've rationalized it every way I can. He needs money for school in NYC; I'm willing to give almost half of my new salary to him because I know he will love my children, play with my children, keep them in line; AND be company/entertainment for me most evenings. There are other rationalizations, but I can't remember them all right now.
It sounds like the "perfect plan", but I'm sure there is something I'm missing in my logic.
Ultimatley, I'm hoping in a few years I can bring my husband home from the grooling life on the road. It would be nice to be a typical family with both parents home on a weekly basis, but at this point, that's not the case.
I'm starting this blog two weeks before I return to work. It'll be interesting to see how our life changes with me back in the land of getting paid for a hard days work. I'm hoping I'll appreciate my children more and have more positive interactions with them now that I won't be constantly trying to escape them for a loooong moments peace.
My life up to now has been all kids, all day for almost 5 years! I thought I would last at this jig until Jacob was in Kindergaten, but I've waved the white flag two years early. I guess if I was the typical stay at home mom whose husband came home every day at about 5 pm I would be able to last two more years. BUT my husband is gone all week and comes home for the weekends. SUCKS!
I feel like I complain about this frequently, but seriously, it's a tall order of madness! I wonder if my kids are going to be scarred from the number of times I lose my cool with the constant toddler drama. Or by the fact that I'm always trying to find something other to do to escape the drama (like blogging right now).
It's a lonely job. Even with the awesome friends I have made, it's still SO lonely. Come 5 pm their husbands are usually home and they are wrapped up in their family routines.
My latest and greatest (in theory) solution has been to go back to work 2 years earlier than planned. The second part of this "great" plan was to bribe my 22 year old cousin from PA to move to what his friends call the "Dirty South". I've rationalized it every way I can. He needs money for school in NYC; I'm willing to give almost half of my new salary to him because I know he will love my children, play with my children, keep them in line; AND be company/entertainment for me most evenings. There are other rationalizations, but I can't remember them all right now.
It sounds like the "perfect plan", but I'm sure there is something I'm missing in my logic.
Ultimatley, I'm hoping in a few years I can bring my husband home from the grooling life on the road. It would be nice to be a typical family with both parents home on a weekly basis, but at this point, that's not the case.
I'm starting this blog two weeks before I return to work. It'll be interesting to see how our life changes with me back in the land of getting paid for a hard days work. I'm hoping I'll appreciate my children more and have more positive interactions with them now that I won't be constantly trying to escape them for a loooong moments peace.
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