New Chapter

I am so relieved that being back at work has had the good affects that I hoped it would! My motivation is up, the whining at home is down (mine as well as the kids’), and all is right with the world! I know Darren is glad to not get any more phone calls “wondering” when he’ll be home (that’s a underhanded demand for him to get home and we both knew it). It’s nice to use the other side of my brain now and to have Travis around to help!
 
I guess as the kids needed me to physically do less for them. I became increasingly bored.  If I have no baby to spoon/bottle feed, no diapers to change, no routine to enforce, no more milestones to meet, what was there left to do except entertain them. They don’t really need me to do that either.  I’m not unhappy that they no longer need me the same way as they did as infants. I’m actually relieved, but that left me with “What now?”
 
It no longer made sense to squeak by financially each month on one income when I could very well relieve the financial pressure from my husband and make a sizeable contribution by going back to work.
 
It surely was nice being home for almost 5 years. I really enjoyed it and the times I didn’t enjoy caused some serious personal growth. I’m definitely not the timid, “don’t rock the boat” person I used to be (That may also be the result of Darren’s brainwashing – HA!). I am much more accepting and confident in myself than I used to be.
 
Now that both my kids are potty trained (HOORAY!), I do miss their baby selves. Not enough to want to miss out on sleep again, but enough that I’d like to hold those little babies again and get another look at those tiny faces and make sure I really absorbed the time I had at home with them.
 
Having been on both sides of the mom fence (Stay at home vs. Working), I don’t know why both sides are so hard on the other. We all have our reasons for what we do. I don’t think one side is better at parenting than the other necessarily. You have good stay at home moms and you have bad stay at home moms, just as you have good working moms and bad working moms.  I think all moms just need to give each other a break as well as themselves.  It’s a tough job which ever way you choose to go about it!
 
I definitely feel like I made the right choice for my children by staying home the first couple years. I’m really proud of how they have turned out as children as a result of my hard work at home with them. I’m also relieved that they don’t seem scarred by my mommy mishaps as a result of little sleep and inexperience as a parent. Shoooo…I think there is a very good reason why their memories aren’t formed until they are in late toddlerhood. It’s a little grace for parents. Make your mistakes BEFORE they can call child protective services on you! Master your parenting techniques by the time they are 3 or 4 so that they’ll think you’ve always been wonderfully patient and calm!
 
Now that I’ve passed this chapter of my life, I’m looking for my next challenge! I think that will be to FINALLY stay out of debt and FINALLY save 6 months worth of expenses. When we FINALLY achieve all of that, I want to save and pay cash for a new car! My 2002 Civic is looking so sad although it still runs and, best of all, it’s PAID for!
 
I think my biggest challenge which I’m ashamed to admit (but shame has never stopped me before) is getting my behind back into a pew at church. Why has this ALWAYS been so hard me to keep up with? Even when I had no children, I couldn’t keep up with it. Then it was pure laziness.
 
Now, I have kids and the struggle is keeping them inline so I can pay attention and so we don’t draw attention from other church goers or the priest. Although I know why the Catholic Church doesn’t have nurseries (because they want the kids to be a part of Mass), I don’t much enjoy putting it into practice (not that this should have anything to do with pleasure). That’s not enough to make me change my church of choice though. I just have to find a way to “convince” (a much nicer word than I am actually thinking) my little angels to sit still and be semi-quiet at church. I bet that’s why nuns are known for using rulers to discipline students.